There hasn't been a post on this blog in 17 days!!!!! Everyones' playing Facebook I suppose. Let me told you a facebook story and then I'll give you a Hank Update.
My daughter is on facebook. Nearly ready to give birth,hormones raging and Daddy out on a oil rig---she finds her old boyfriend from high school. He's had 3 children by different women, and has no job and is currently married. While Daddy is still out, she gets manipulated into inviting him to move into her house and help him find a job (She made my son move home because "She needed the room for the baby and she couldn't afford to support him while he looked, BTW.)
Son in law (who is outstanding in every way, and I'd be proud to call my own son) comes back in and is faced by this. He doesn't like the guy, (smelled him out) and was faced with a simillar situation in his first marriage. When Daughter was home in Feb. (before this started) she told me she wasn't happy. Her husband is a great provider, gives her anything she wants, let her stay home and go to college online and be a stay at home Mom, to which I said "A DAMN FINE BETTER DEAL THAN YOUR OWN MOTHER GOT!!!!" and a "You're not happy? Welcome to being married kid, it's not peaches and cream every damn day. In fact, the first ELEVEN YEARS of my marriage were freakin' torture. You do what's right."
Now baby gets delivered, son in law is disgusted and has moved to his sister's house in town, and the Facebook Buddy is at the hospital with my kid. Son in law gets a text from him ( I don't do that shit either) and won't go see his own kid born because he shouldn't have to share an experience like that with a stranger. (I think so).
Daughter gets wild post-partum depression. Tells son in law in response to his "I Love You' "I can't say that to you right now." Facebook buddy STEALS DAUGHTER'S CAR, she reports it stolen, and it is recovered whith Buddy still in it by the Lafouche Parish Sheriff's Office. He gets put into jail and finds out that you might be a Southron from NC, but in Lafouche Parish, "You AIN'T FROM AROUND HERE", catches two ass beatings, one from the deputies and one from the inmates, and is released ROR next day so the parish don't have to pay for him to be treated in the hospital.
Son in law comes to house next day and finds him BACK IN THE HOUSE with 2 "Friends" both wearing sidearms, and DON'T look like off duty cops. Facebook Buddy screams at him and tells him to get out of the apartment HE PAYS FOR. That's about enough. He goes to a divorce atty and gets a restraining order. Either Facebook buddy gets out of the house, or he gets full custody of the children (BTW, the Lafouche Parish DA is a part time position, and he's son in law's divorce lawyer. Son in law tells daughter he needs about 6 months to figure out what he's gonna do. Pays 6 more months on the lease, takes daughter grocery shopping so the kids have food (all she has is GI Bill and 40% disability check from VA, don't go too far).
My son gets on facebook and lambastes both daughter and Facebook Buddy. She refuses to speak to her parents. Finally, after I send her an e-mail (she's still scared of Daddy) that says "For the first time in your life, I'm ashamed to be your father--you've Dis-honored my name and your husband's by your idiotic conduct" (an affair without sex is sometimes more of a betrayal than one where the woman gets pregnant--it's totally emotional in this case)
Daughter finally comes to her senses, gets rid of Facebook Buddy. BUT NOW, she's between a rock and a very hard place. Husband still loves her---but when he's away 6 months out of the year, how do you trust her now? I've been there myself. Whatcha gonna do ????
HAD IT NOT FOR FACEBOOK, THE BREAK-UP OF MY KID'S MARRIAGE WOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPPENED!!!!!!
We're still a family blog, so TAKE YOUR FACEBOOK AND STICK IN YOUR DIDI WITH A WAH-WAH BRUSH!!!!!
Excerpt from e-mail sent to Dr Chris yesterday. "healing slowly. Last 3 weeks, radiation burns on neck and chest/back have healed. Lost total of 80 lbs, only 40 away from where I was at age 18. Stamina and fatigue problems still phase me out. Still on feeding tube, no solid food. Can FINALLY drink carbonated beverages without pain. Swallowing without pain (a great relief). Oncologist says "You're not a patient man" my reply: "It doesn't run in my family".
Let's get some comments---stop putting your life on the internet for the world to see---IMO Facebook and other social networking websites are the spawn of the devil, and used by the government to lull the populace into complacency so they can do whatever the hell they want. And it SEEMS TO BE WORKING.
Glad to have you back, Hank. You are one tough bastard, insisting on drinking carbonated soda until it stops hurting! The weight loss, I guess, can be counted as a blessing, though the way it was attained is not how you'd have chosen. Another friend had throat cancer and his doctor told him he was starting with one big advantage and one big disadvantage. The advantage was that he was relatively young, and in extremely good physical shape. The disadvantage was that he was rail thin. He had no reserves for those many days when he could not eat. He's well now, and so will you be.
Here are some comments:
(1) Facebook didn't kill Mazurland. Mazurland has been on life support for a couple of years now. Paul never was a big participant here, even in the comments. Chris went from being the main author (almost daily) to zero. Ben stopped posting not long after we hired him and paid him that huge signing bonus. (Asshole.) And you've been sick. That left me, and I'm not used to being the only person to write here. And all that (except you getting sick) happened before Paul or Chris got into Facebook (and Chris is only a so-so participant there, Paul is hot and cold, and ditto Ben). So now that you're back, maybe we can get this thing going again. Either fire up or fire the other guys, and hire some new talent. Shake things up. You know.
(2) Lots of people I know have gone back and forth on FB. Some people (e.g. Boris) have dropped out completely for a time, only to come back participating more than ever. I've kind of settled in to a certain routine, more than I thought I'd do there, but steadily less than what I used to do. In any case, I don't think it lessens my ability or desire to write here. That's more tied to how much others in Mazurland participate. When you write a post and it takes days for even one of the other authors to comment, then it's not so motivating. FB can an addictive time sink, but in the end, it's what you make it. And I do pimp Mazurland on FB, for what it's worth. For example, much to Val's annoyance, I'll comment on a FB thread of hers with an "answer" that's nothing but a cite of a Mazurland article from years ago.
(3) As with anything on the internet, FB can be an avenue for wanted AND unwanted attention. We have a certain amount of control over stuff here at Mazurland. But whatever we do let out is out, for the whole world, pretty much forever unless we delete a post, close down Mazurland, etc. And even then, there may be cached copies out there. Hank, by your own choice, you've let out your email address and loads of fairly personal information about yourself and family, some right here above. Mazurland may not be very high profile, but at least in principle, everyone in the world can see that stuff! FB lets you control how much of your info people have access to. That being said, most people don't exercise enough control, or don't understand how to control it. But in principle, it can be done.
(4) Your daughter, unfortunately, seems to be having a variety of problems, emotional, marital, etc. She could easily have fallen prey to a no-account ex-boy friend long before FB. Long before the internet. It used to happen all the time. It still does. I'll pray she and your son-in-law can get over this very rough spot.
Posted by: Marty | May 26, 2010 at 11:18 AM
Hank, glad you're back and still full of piss and vinegar. I can't blame FB for my slackassery. I actually blame Obama -- literally. I got politically depressed after the Nov. 2008 election and didn't feel like talking about it, and the depression turned into habit when it cam to my writing. FB just diverted the meager trickle that was left.
And I already spent that signing bonus on hookers and blow. No way you're getting it back.
Posted by: Ben | May 26, 2010 at 12:10 PM
First of all, I'm so glad to see you posting, Hank. You've been on my mind and in my prayers.
So sorry to hear about your daughter's hot mess. I can say from personal experience it's very difficult to keep a marriage together unless both people are committed to it when there's a lot of separation. My husband and I have done this for years at a time several times. We're doing it again. It's lousy and a struggle to not be resentful.
Facebook might have been the nail in the coffin for your daughter's marriage, but there probably were problems before, even if they weren't aware of them. This stuff happens with some frequency. I think people, and I hate to say it, but it's almost always women, don't even know they're looking for something/one till they stumble upon it. If things aren't perfect at home, it's that much more attractive. Opportunists are happy to step up to the plate and innocent parties like your son in law get caught in the cross fire (way to mix my metaphors, I know, Marty.) I've creeped on old boyfriends on facebook. I was a 'bad breaker-upper' so I wouldn't consider being friends with them online since I'd probably still want to rip their spleens out if I saw them in real life. It's always important to keep in mind http://www.ipadrblog.com/nobody%20knows%20you%27re%20a%20dob.jpg
Not to make excuses, but pregnancy and post partum are not times when women are at the top of their game in the emotional intelligence department. I deal with pregnant women every day at my job and know this to be true and my personal experience is no different. Every baby deserves 2 parents who feel absolutely outrageously blessed. I hope that happens for your grandbrat.
She doesn't know it now, but your daughter is lucky to have a father to call her out on her lapse of judgment. Leave the door open for her and make sure she knows you love her even though her head is up her behind for the moment. She has a tough road ahead of her.
As for your cancer battle, party on, I say! I'm glad to find out you're tolerating something fun and without pain.
Posted by: Valerie Longfellow | May 26, 2010 at 12:13 PM
Ben: Mazurland was never just a political blog. And while the five of us are politically conservative, we're pretty diverse in our experience. And over the years, we've thought of hiring (and could still hire) people whom we know are political liberals yet are, nonetheless, interesting people. Four people whom we've considered in the past, two of whom would expand the definition of "brother" even more than you and Hank did.
In any case, we didn't actually hire you to be a political blogger, and even in the age of Obama there's plenty to blog about. For example, we'd love to hear about the experiences of a Southern Fried Baptist spending his signing bonus on hookers and blow. And then there's the tale of your time as a Baptist altar boy...
Posted by: Marty | May 26, 2010 at 02:16 PM
Hank,
You may have lost that weight, but you sure haven't lost the fire in your belly.
As you are well aware of, Mazurland had been dwindling for a while. Like you, I also resisted Facebook for the longest time. I've been going there more recently because it's a fun way to get a quick peak at some people's thoughts, or throw a one-liner up yourself. But it's very different than Mazurland, which takes more time to compose posts. Facebook didn't replace Mazurland, it's a very different kind of distraction.
I recommend you give it a try. It's a fun way to fire off a quick opinion or two. You're also smart enough to sift through the BS and drivel. You can always ignore it after signing up, sort of like I've done at Mazurland. Regardless, it's great to see you posting in either place. Who knows, maybe you'll whip us into shape over here yet.
Posted by: Chris | May 26, 2010 at 03:56 PM
Hank,
Glad to hear from you again. Excuse me now, I have to get back to Farmville
(Seriously, I'mm really glad to hear from you)
Posted by: Paul | May 26, 2010 at 08:16 PM
Hank, I don't know you at all, but from what I've seen of your personality, I can only imagine you're thinking something along the lines of "fertilize THIS" to Paul's Farmville reference.
Posted by: Valerie Longfellow | May 26, 2010 at 09:45 PM
Lost your site (Luckily BP has you on his sidebar)Glad to see you kicking up, you're in our prayers...
Posted by: Pauldub | June 22, 2010 at 09:58 PM