Decorating Veteran Calls for Iraq Withdrawal

Washington (Nov-18-2005) - Decorating veteran Martha Stewart called on Congress to withdraw from Iraq immediately. An excerpt of her prepared statement says, "We made progress with the purple finger motif. But the opposition is too great The Kurds, Shiites and Sunnis have wildly different tastes. When you put these three together, they clash. If that isn't bad enough, you have crude al-Qaeda attempts with improvised and effortless decorations, or IEDs as I call them. All of this together is ruining our extreme makeover of the Middle East. This withdrawal is unfortunate because the United States has shown great fashion sense over the years. Reagan saw an ugly wall in Berlin and demanded that it be torn down. This inspired other great redecorations in Eastern Europe, such as the removal of the Iron Curtain and the Velvet Revolution."

Martha gained fame in the 1980's when she was called in as a consultant to President Reagan to assist in removing some disturbing shades of red in Central America.