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October 26, 2005
Cindy 3000
Washington D.C. (October 26, 2005) - Breaking news: An anonymous source close to the Democratic National Committee says that the DNC will aid Cindy Sheehan in her (literally) ultimate gambit to draw attention to herself and the plight of the American soldiers she represents. The source said that Sheehan plans an act of ritual self-immolation on the occasion of the death of the 3,000th American serviceman in Iraq. "We think this will happen just before the mid-term elections" said the top Democratic operative. "She plans to make more and more dramatic statements in the coming months, as each new group of 100 American servicemen pays the price for George Bush's war. By August or so of next year, America will be ready for the curtain call of Cindy Sheehan." The news of Democratic cooperation with Ms. Sheehan surprised some insiders. "Even Dean's people just wished she'd shut up!" said one person close to the source. "But Cindy's plan will, I think, make everyone connected with it happy."
The source gave some details of the plans for Mother Sheean's final performance. "She can't carry out this plan herself. We will bind Cindy tightly in oil-soaked rags, representing Bush's war for oil. Her mouth will be duct-taped to represent the silencing of dissent. She will be encased in a wicker basket to represent the tangled web of wicked lies Bush has told the American people. She will then be hoisted to the pinnacle of the Washington Monument, which will be flooded with spotlights for Cindy's final moments." The source said that the Parks Service, which oversees the Monument grounds, and the Secret Service have been very cooperative. "After Cindy shackled herself to the White House, they were very interested in helping us with Cindy's last statement. They will even provide the crane and the spot lights." The DNC already has multiple events planned for "K3K", as the commemoration is code-named. The source said, "Cindy's performance will be the topper." He continued, "We've cleared everything with our ethicist and our legal people. In order to ensure that Cindy's last act is her own, a butane lighter will be put in her hand and her thumb placed on the flintwheel before she is bound." An anonymous spokesman for Howard Dean said: "We hope she flicks her Bic. It will be her finest performance."
October 26, 2005 by Marty | Permalink
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Comments
Yes, and Hillary can do the eulogy.....
Posted by: Chris | Oct 26, 2005 12:16:30 PM
You're a repulsive, vomitous mass. Cindy Sheehan's vaginal discharge has more patriotism than exists in your entire body.
Posted by: Lo Ping Wong | Oct 26, 2005 4:56:26 PM
Well, I guess I figured *that* was coming. I was worried that my post was a bit over the top. Maybe a tad tasteless (though no more tasteless than some of Cindy's opinions and self-promotion). Leave it to the left to one up the tastelessness quotient.
Posted by: Marty | Oct 26, 2005 4:59:40 PM
I can out-tastelessness (I just made that up) anybody, see. For example, Sarah's kind of hot. Do you have any naked pictures of her?
Posted by: Lo Ping Wong | Oct 26, 2005 5:19:32 PM
Lo Ping,
"I can out-tastelessness (I just made that up) anybody, see."
From my experience of visiting Left-leaning blogs, this is not surprising. Most of their commenters seem to be filled with bitterness and resentment. Even their attempts at humor are overshadowed by a backdrop of anger. Look at Al Franken's repeated references to "executing" Bush. Funny. Right-leaning blogs, although critical and irreverant at times, seem to retain more optimism and light-heartedness. Think Ronald Reagan vs Howard Dean.
Maybe our resident liberal commenter, Chad, can take you aside and teach you some manners. Afterwards, come back and comment any time. Mazurland welcomes intelligent discourse.
Let's see if there's actually a mind behind your vulgarity....
Posted by: Chris | Oct 26, 2005 6:51:24 PM
First off, Lo Ping, grow up!
Next, it takes a certain type of hyperbole or "over-the-top-ness" to match the "over-the-top-ness" of Sheehan. I wouldn't even call Marty's post tasteless. If you have been following this blog, Mazurland was at first sympathetic with her as a grieving mother. We didn't agree with her but we cut her some slack. I think that can be said of most right-wing pundits and bloggers. But she turned into the Energizer Bunny and kept going and going and going. And as she kept going she more shrill and unhinged. Unfortunately, she became a caricature of herself. I think she found herself out of the spotlight and wanted to "wow" us into getting the cameras on her again.
Posted by: Paul | Oct 26, 2005 6:52:34 PM
that was very funny. now, Chris, are you familiar with said discharge?
Posted by: DL | Oct 26, 2005 7:26:07 PM
"that was very funny. now, Chris, are you familiar with said discharge?"
It took me a while, but I guess you're referring to the "discharge" mentioned in Lo Ping's original post.
Marty, what have you wrought!? I feel like I'm living in Berkeley.
Posted by: Chris | Oct 26, 2005 7:40:48 PM
All right! Who left the door open in the nursery? All you babies need to get back.
Posted by: Paul | Oct 26, 2005 7:43:13 PM
Marty,
We really need to put a link to these comments on our main page. As I've always said, the more visibility the real Left gets, the better it is for Conservatives. I'm loving this!
Posted by: Chris | Oct 26, 2005 7:45:20 PM
Chad is a well-scrubbed and cherubic compared to this yahoo. I think he's a kind of pain-in-the-ass even over at The Liberal Avenger, the hole he crawled out of. It's kind of nice how he researched our entire site just to get down and personal with his vulgarity. All in the course of maybe a couple of hours since I dropped the Cindy scoop over at TLA for the benefit of the very large contingent of conservatives keeping order on the comments pages over there.
Posted by: Marty | Oct 26, 2005 9:42:06 PM
Hey Marty, Lo Ping may have been a little crude, but his message is what counts. You think that you have to use big words to have a valid message. Lo Ping's message is sound and he used a means of communication that was beneath the high and mighty Marty. There you go again discounting someone just because they are not like you.
Now Chad on the other hand has class.
Here's my take on your post Marty. INSENSITIVE!! CRUDE!!! and WRONG!!! Did you stay up all night trying to think of something so bad so as to amplify your eveil heart? Did you have someone flog you so that you would get all angry before you wrote that garbage? You must live a lonely life, because who would want to be around you.
Cerubic? Yeah right!
Chad OUT!
Posted by: Chad | Oct 27, 2005 11:47:48 AM
Chad, you *do* have class. I read some of Lo Ping's stuff over at TLA. What he wrote here was pretty tame by comparison,
Posted by: Marty | Oct 27, 2005 1:39:07 PM
Good Blog, and I see you are bringing out the trolls for the world to really see how they are.
Posted by: kwl | Oct 27, 2005 2:27:28 PM
Chad, you're wrong.
*I* want to be around Marty.
He brings me cigars.
Posted by: Chris | Oct 27, 2005 2:53:50 PM
And Chris brings me Scotch! And Paul brings me Bourbon! Let's get together guys!!!
Posted by: Marty | Oct 27, 2005 3:01:03 PM
Can girls come, too? I'll bring the Campari and soda!
Posted by: Sasha | Oct 27, 2005 3:02:27 PM
KWL,
Nice blog you have. Thanks for popping by Mazurland!
Posted by: Marty | Oct 27, 2005 3:21:34 PM
DL: If you're still around...Did you mean for your "discharge" comment to be addressed to Lo Ping Wong and not Chris? It don't seem to make no sense otherwise. If so, then welcome. If not, then...huh?
Posted by: Marty | Oct 27, 2005 4:26:17 PM
At the rate Cindy is going ,I wouldn't be the least surprised if this actually happened. Oh, not all the details,but I can see Cindy setting herself on fire for the publicity.She's pretty far out there now.So ,remember you saw it here first.
good job Marty!
Posted by: prettyold | Oct 27, 2005 6:56:11 PM
Thanks for popping your head up, even if you are prettyold. Welcome to Mazurland!
Posted by: Marty | Oct 27, 2005 8:35:50 PM
What crap.
Do yourselves a favor, stop typing and spend some time with your families.
All of you.
Posted by: Dr. Laura | Oct 27, 2005 10:32:34 PM
WHat do you think this blog *is*?
Posted by: Marty | Oct 27, 2005 10:37:34 PM
This is great! I just linked to this post. I love it!
Posted by: Lisa | Nov 26, 2005 10:36:08 PM
Thanks for stopping by, Lisa. You're welcome at Mazurland Blog. Your blog is your credential, and it's pretty good!
Posted by: Marty | Nov 27, 2005 5:09:25 PM
